2 posts tagged “written on the run”
I used to be a state-of-the-art sleeper. I used to just lie down on my stomach and dream for hours, vividly. Some nights I'd imagine myself as a bird, coasting above the salty Bay and its lofty bridges. Other nights I peered through the eyes of my heros, facing danger with expert calm. I remember every one.
Then I grew up. Anxiety compounded responsibility until even my rest was tense. In college I discovered lounging in bed with a good sleeper, which is almost a dream in itself! It generated this silly joke, that I could forgo a boyfriend for a napfriend. Friends would say, "You could advertise for that!" And I'd laugh, wondering if ...really I could.
It's weeks like this — when my fears have no face and my sleep doesn't last — that I think about that idea again. Of course, as my father's would, my mind races to the messy logistics. Where would you post an ad for a napfriend? How could you check an applicant's references? What's the going rate for hire?
Today marks the first of many wet, winter days unsuitable for cycling. I surprised myself. No longer needing to focus on the traffic around me, I experienced some quiet, lost positives. I looked up, rediscovering the clean geometry of this urban landscape. I saw a rainbow under slate clouds, edged by a bright blue sky. I listened, noting the patterns in various whirs and clicks of passing machinery. Instead of panting for air, I found the luxury of inhaling deep and slow, nearly meditating on each breath. On MUNI this morning, I met the eyes of my neighbors, and faced their sleepy humanity. And tonight, I took the long way home — I'd forgotten how strong it feels to bound up these hills.
It was a good day. One I hope lives on through the rest of this dark season.
