Using a loophole in the district's sex education regulations, school officials tried to prevent a little girl in California from presenting a history — read, factual — report on Harvey Milk.  They argued that Harvey Milk's sexual orientation made the material too sensitive and thus classified it as sex ed.  The girl's parents, the ACLU, and others objected, so the district did finally let her give the presentation during a lunch period — but only to students whose parents had signed a waiver.

Really, San Diego?  What's next?  Signing a waiver so your kid can learn about evolution during recess?

It's nothing personal, but I've been sharing my excess musings somewhere else lately.  What can I say?  I can't stop myself.

The smart people over there continue to intrigue and delight me... So if you're looking for a more consistent read, give Clusterflock.org a shot.

My exboyfriend just linked to a blog post about some research that features the next guy I dated.  One still lives in New York relatively unrelated to the incestuous tech world out here, while the other breathes in Silicon Valley connections.  They're both old history for me so I shouldn't even know of their whereabouts by now.

But Facebook has more than made news like this available to me.  Our interconnectedness feels excessive.  How would you react to this?

Hiding under pillows
Originally uploaded by kelsey *.

I used to be a state-of-the-art sleeper. I used to just lie down on my stomach and dream for hours, vividly. Some nights I'd imagine myself as a bird, coasting above the salty Bay and its lofty bridges. Other nights I peered through the eyes of my heros, facing danger with expert calm. I remember every one.

Then I grew up. Anxiety compounded responsibility until even my rest was tense. In college I discovered lounging in bed with a good sleeper, which is almost a dream in itself! It generated this silly joke, that I could forgo a boyfriend for a napfriend. Friends would say, "You could advertise for that!" And I'd laugh, wondering if ...really I could.

It's weeks like this — when my fears have no face and my sleep doesn't last — that I think about that idea again. Of course, as my father's would, my mind races to the messy logistics. Where would you post an ad for a napfriend? How could you check an applicant's references? What's the going rate for hire?

• No wonder the sky is gray today... All the blue is in your eyes!
• Are your feet tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day long!
• I came with my steady. She is willing to NEGOTIATE...
• Stop, drop, and roll, baby!  You're on fire!
• I think I'm in LOVE... <3
  
• You know, I don't know the theme song to Deliverance.
  
• You've got a pretty mouth... Wanna make out?
• Can I take your portrait?
• How about you have a seat in my lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up?
• Are those SPACE PANTS?
• If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me?
• Meet me upstairs in 10 minutes... I've got something to show you!
• You know, I like to walk my bunny in the Panhandle...
  

I was tagged.  It reminds me of chain letters, which reminds me of how much I used to hate chain letters.  This time though, I'm participating:

1. If I had no family, I would be volunteering my time and money to the Treatment Action Campaign in South Africa right now.  (My certainty comes from a dream I abandoned four years ago.)

2. My middle sister is my best friend and inspiration.  Her life is a memoir waiting to happen -- and she's barely into her 30s!  Supporting her while also learning from her defines my own coming-of-age story.

3. I love spicy food so much it's masochistic.

4. The only bone I've ever broken was my tailbone.  It took me four weeks to go to a doctor about the pain, by which point my left leg dragged when I walked.

5. I wore the standard religious school uniform (Oxford, pleated skirt, and penny loafers) for only 6 of my 25 years, but I still miss it in the mornings.

6. The first and only time I ever truly loved a boyfriend, I never told him.

7. Discounting numerous design jobs and internships, I worked as a boutique assistant, retail chain cashier, indie bookstore shelver, organic grocery clerk, pub bartender, and bookstore barista until graduating from college.  In that order.  I've never not had a job!  That is, not since the summer before I turned 14.

8. The first thing I do after a trip to the grocery store is peel all those ornery stickers off my produce!  Reminds me of my mother, and how she immediately rips the tags off everyone's checked baggage.

9. When I lived in New York, I babysat for the most glamorous couple every Thursday night.  I learned so much more about healthy relationships from them than I ever did from my (now divorced and remarried) parents.

10. Three months after I learned to ride the bike my mother bought when she was pregnant with me, I cycled across Spain along the Camino de Santiago.

11. I believe in humility the way others believe in a higher power.

12. When I was 16, I nearly drove off a cliff called Devil's Slide.  I was very sober at the time, though I hadn't been for the six months previous.

13. I've only been in that one car accident, but I've been in four bike accidents.  (And I know I should, but I don't wear my helmet regularly.)

14. I haven't touched a washing machine since I moved to San Francisco.  My first job here involved commuting 4-6 hours per day, so I discovered the corner Wash 'n Fold ...and never went back!  Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on meeting cool neighbors at the local laundromat.

15. Unless you count running gear, I haven't worn pants since August 2007.

16. I like to take myself to the movies ...alone.  It started when I was a teen, hiding from my peers and parents.  Now it's just a comfort, a way to check in with my old self.

17. I live above a chocolate shop on Haight Street.  And if you can't tell, I really like to tell people that.

18. Though I didn't learn to ride a bicycle until I graduated from college, I was sitting on the local train station's bike lockers when my best friend's boyfriend's best friend kissed me.  My first kiss!  I wasn't expecting it and I didn't enjoy it.

19. I cannot wait to be the AYSO referee for my kids' soccer games.  So much so, in fact, that I'm considering joining a local league now...

20. A couple weeks before I left for New York, I told my parents that I was spending the weekend in Tahoe with a friend's family.  Instead I drove myself down to San Diego, where a girl I'd recently met on the Internet introduced me to her world of high school drop-outs.

21. I'm easy-going, but not that easy to get to know.

22. I know that some day, I'll be sharing my life with a man and a dog and some number of children.  So I play the cello to carve out a part of every day that's just for me, no matter what happens when.  (My Aunt Sue plays the harp every night.)

23. I miss walking in New York.  Walking in San Francisco just isn't the same!  10 miles in New York feels like a skip and a jump, while 10 miles in San Francisco feels like a day.

24. In case you missed it, I live with one very small, very feisty rabbit.  She makes me a more patient and forgiving person.

25. ...25 years from now, I'll have just turned 50.  I'm hoping that by then I'll have cycled across all 50 of the United States.

For several months, I've been receiving a Facebook friend request from a girl that, as far as I could tell, graduated from my high school the year after me.  Now, if you know me at all, you know I didn't have many friends back then ...let alone acquaintances from other grades.  I'd taken to ignoring her.  Then, after another abandoned request this week, I received this:

hi there

i know we never knew each other in h.s. (and you've probably been thinking who on earth is this person trying to add me as a friend) but because i feel that people don't tell each other about these little things, I'd thought I'd let you know: i remember when you sang at the talent show my junior year. and you sang ani difranco's "joyful girl".

it was so, so beautiful. so i have to tell you thank you, for that beautiful song, and thank you, for introducing me to an artist i'd would've otherwise been ignorant to.

(and i remember your bicycle at 301 howard, i used to work there on the 9th floor, and had a blue bike).

all the best,
kim

Just when you think you know people, you realize you know nothing at all.

Stormy rainbow
Originally uploaded by kelsey *.

Today marks the first of many wet, winter days unsuitable for cycling. I surprised myself. No longer needing to focus on the traffic around me, I experienced some quiet, lost positives. I looked up, rediscovering the clean geometry of this urban landscape. I saw a rainbow under slate clouds, edged by a bright blue sky. I listened, noting the patterns in various whirs and clicks of passing machinery. Instead of panting for air, I found the luxury of inhaling deep and slow, nearly meditating on each breath. On MUNI this morning, I met the eyes of my neighbors, and faced their sleepy humanity. And tonight, I took the long way home — I'd forgotten how strong it feels to bound up these hills.

It was a good day. One I hope lives on through the rest of this dark season.

Yesterday, the California Supreme Court agreed to decide the legality of Proposition 8.  But around here, the insult of election night still stings.  Anger swells under the streets, choking the city's flair and imagination.  For me, it's no longer about human rights or free love.  I've found myself ranting against the slogan of the Yes on 8 campaign:

Protect Marriage

What's there to protect?  I'm no expert at statistics, but the latest census data lists a 43% divorce rate for California.  These days, the chances of a heterosexual couple surviving the first ten years of marriage is closer to a coin toss.  What are the 'defenders of marriage' trying to protect?

My parents separated when I was in middle school.  I remember how disappointed I was when I realized that out of my class of 17 students, I would be joining the ranks of the other 8 kids with divorced parents.  They were the troubled, rebellious ones.  They knew cynicism before I could even spell it.

Now I speak from the perspective of one of those troubled, rebellious products of divorce.  What is this sacred institution that the Mormons paid so much for?  I've attended -- even participated in -- several weddings recently.  At a basic level, we come to see two people celebrate their solid friendship and merry love.  Sure, they sign papers that grant them certain political rights but that's all it is.  Where's the divine intervention?  What makes the heterosexual union so inviolable?  I think it's pathetic at best to believe something blessed in marriage would be spoiled by the inclusion of gays and lesbians.

Dialing out
Originally uploaded by kelsey *.

Last night I went to see the program director of the Contemporary Jewish Museum interview the editors of the McSweeney's Voice of Witness series. Excerpts were read from both Underground America: Narratives of Undocumented Lives and Out of Exile: The Abducted and Displaced People of Sudan, and later we spoke with narrators from each. The compounding message of the event was that we live in an age of sound bites and stereotypes -- a phantasmagoria draining our compassions. By recording more oral histories, like the ones preserved by McSweeney's and StoryCorps, our common humanity will be revealed.

It's a beautiful idea. And I think it could work, if more people read. (Or listened to NPR.) Maybe it's the election season, but this country feels more divided now than ever. There's a stubbornness permeating everything that we fight for, whether it's in Iraq or at the polls, and neither side is listening anymore. I've been phone banking for Obama for weeks now, hoping to strike up a conversation with someone on the fence. Someone willing to hash out the issues with me and talk about fears for the future. But I only ever reach certainty, blind certainty. How can we temper international borders when the walls inside our own country remain so high?

It's fitting that the notion of elitism has entered our public debate. My sister once told me that the more she learns, the more she realizes how little she knows. Intellect breeds humility; ignorance favors certainty. So to incite the masses, we've created stereotypes for every controversy, from the border-crossing Mexican immigrant to the doe-eyed African refugee. When will we educate the masses enough to look beyond the icons of our media?

To me, Obama stands for hope. He represents the new era of multicultural understanding that will spread with ideas like StoryCorps and the McSweeney's Voice of Witness series. But he can't do it alone. I need to acknowledge my own responsibility for the CHANGE that he proposes. Call me a cynic, but I'm afraid that this country has grown too lazy to do this with me.